Thanksgiving week and all thru the house not a creature was stirring just a stupid narc. Gratitude is the key to recovery just don’t tell them.
Transcription:
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Hi, this [is] Tracy
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And it’s a week before thanksgiving, and it’s this time of the year when we look back
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and think about what we were thankful for and
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I can honestly say that I am
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Pretty thankful of how your long
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Don’t get me wrong. I really try to practice gratitude and being thankful for whatever is presented [to] me in my life
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But I know how hard the holidays can be four people in a life-changing situation
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families are divided and maybe you won’t have your children or
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Your sad for how it used to be
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Got any of that one or you’re sad at how it should have been how you’d rent it to be
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We have to remember that when we’re facing heartbreak
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darkness
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Depression and anxiety
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when we feel numb
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And we don’t see how this will ever be right again
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When we’re embarrassed or ashamed?
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It’s it’s then that we need to find [the] grace and look for something to be grateful for
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We can’t change yesterday. We can’t even get it back
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What we can do is make the best of today right here right now
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It’s going to be better
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Gratitude is the source of our healing I
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have learned the
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most in my life
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from the worst days and from the worst people that have come into my life, I
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Now know that I need to be grateful in the middle of the storm
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instead [of] waiting for the week before
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Thanksgiving when week look back and reflect and say what are we grateful for?
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Well, I’m not grateful that I got a toaster
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I guess I was but real gratitude deep down soul gratitude
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That’s what we need to look for because it’s that it’s going to make us heal I
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did an exercise today, and I’ve written some things down for
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myself that I
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Can recap you really are supposed to do it for just a year?
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Things that happen for you
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Good and bad
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and
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Find what you’re grateful for it’s so much easier to find things that you’re grateful for when it’s good news
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Right my son graduated college this spring and I am so grateful
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I am so happy that he [got] the opportunity to stay at George, Washington University
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when
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The money that we were expecting to keep him there got yanked out from under us during our divorce. I’m
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Grateful that he finished when he thought about it for a long [time], and he didn’t want to go
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He was hurting too, but I’m glad he found the strength
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I’m thankful for [that]
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Last October
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My cat pink called him tink because I thought he was a girl [Tinkerbell]
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I
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Was watering the plants one night, and he snuck out and head outside and then got away, and he was never seen again
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after 14 years it was very sad I
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Missed those little pitter patters when they came home. He was always there hi, mom, I?
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Missed him crawling up. I’m noxious lee when I was trying to type on my arm. He was always there
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I’m really thankful that we had those years with him. He was a good little cat
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October
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Was a very bad run for me
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That’s why we’re going back a little bit more than 12 months here because so much happened. I can’t even believe it’s been a year
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um I found out [that] I had skin cancer on my face right here, and
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it really put the fear into me of
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What am I going to do?
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realizing that I have my own company and people depend on me that I didn’t have the luxury of
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downtime
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Certainly miss the fact that nobody was there to take care of me. My son was away at College and
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There I sat I learned to take care of myself, and I’m grateful for that
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I don’t need someone to take care of me and
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If that’s the lesson that I learned there
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than I am grateful
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Another horrifying thing I can say all the good stuff, but the horrifying stuff is so much better. I
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was sleeping in October towards the end in my bed and
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started to hear someone kicking down my door and
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my bedroom door physically opened so the pressure from the door I
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Didn’t know if whoever was out there got in but my door went
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Just like like a horror movie right and I saw flashlights in my living room
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Not a good thing I was on the phone with 911
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Whispering because we didn’t know if they were in [my] living room and the fear inside of me kept with frozen to my bag
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even though I
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Really wanted to go under the bed
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Did you know it’s not a good thing apparently to like try to hide in her closet?
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That was my first instinct was like go high in the closet rate like they wouldn’t find me
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But the piece told me that’s not necessarily a very good idea
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so anyway, they didn’t get in and
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When I was telling my mother in her hospital room about this
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Really scary night, but took away my personal home safety
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My mother said how could God have let that happen and I explained [to] her
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God had me close the window that night. I was the first night all year. I had closed the window
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So I’m thankful for that
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I’m thankful that the sirens scared them away to valid fitting
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the end of October my mother had been a nursing home I
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Had two surgeries in a week to stop some internal bleeding that she had after years and years of pain
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She lost her battle in November
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But I was grateful that I was there by her side
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And I’m not saying that it wasn’t creepy to watch your mother died to sit there all alone
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I’m glad that she wasn’t alone because even though I’ve learned that she’s a narcissist or was a narcissist I
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Loved my mother and I’m glad that I have her here
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Because no one should die alone
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[November] was hard lots of lawyer stuff
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sisters
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trusts
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taxes
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Cremation things that is not like getting your normal realm of how to do this sort of thing
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But I had to do it. I didn’t have a choice I
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Was the responsible one?
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Through it all I sort of had this sky
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It wasn’t really there when I needed him, but he was there enough
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He pretended to love me and he pretended to be so honest
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somehow when I went to his house I
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learned in December
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Don’t even know how this question. He came [to] my head, but I learned that heats up with another
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He risked my life his lies were ridiculous
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I learned that he had a mask that he’d been wearing and
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I just caught him
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And narcissus do not like to be caught I can tell you that
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They instantly put you in a category of enemy, you’re not on their side anymore. You’re not [a] good supply. I
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Just thought I was his girlfriend
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But I’m glad
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Somehow the questions. I asked him that made him tell the truth on that, December day
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I’m glad I
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Thought he was a different person, and I wish that he’d been a better person
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But I have now learned
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what to look for
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What to settle for what not to settle for so I’m grateful that his mask fell, and I’m grateful that I got to walk away
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In January and Februari. I really struggled with the anger from this betrayal I
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realized I was a pond and and in this sick and twisted person’s life and
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I was angry at myself I
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Didn’t go out of my house
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But in March after he had me arrested, and he spent 24 hours in Jail, I
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Realized that was the bottom of my life
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That was it doesn’t get any lower because it could let’s just say it hadn’t gotten any more
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But I’m grateful
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Because without that I wouldn’t have never learned about my my past
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I would have never learned about a narcissist that would have never learned about Codependency
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So I’m grateful for that son of a bitch
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Grateful that I had to do community service because I was able to give back to the Community I
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Was able to learn about narcissist and use my voice. I feel like this is a calling for me
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I want to help people. I want to change laws, and I don’t think anything of this would have been possible
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If that jerk hadn’t had me arrested
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I’m really happy that
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God is in My life. I
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know that
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There’s a divine power
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because I
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often lost hope this year
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Memories start to fade away they really will and you’ll go on and you’ll be fine one day
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when I went through my divorce four years ago, I
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Never thought I’d forget
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And slowly it all starts to fade
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So no now that we must find the strength
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in this darkness
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And together we were here
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This is Che Si. That’s all I got
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Happy Thanksgiving guys
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