It’s hard to imagine that anything good can come out of the torturous experience of being emotionally abused. Research tells us that 90% of you (in a pathological love relationship) will have some symptoms of trauma; many will have full blown C-PTSD and PTSD. You may have developed physical illness from the excessive stress and roller coaster relationship. It is a heroic journey out of the trauma bond and the agony of cognitive dissonance. The assault to your soul, self-esteem, and confidence cannot be understated — depending on the length of time in the toxic environment.
Please take heart because negative experiences can bring about positive change. We are created to come back, to grieve, and to grow and transform through the dark passages we go through in life.
The challenging experiences of narcissistic emotional abuse, if navigated with support and with the Divine’s gift of grace, can elicit in us the following:
- Stronger character and wisdom
- A self that is solid and learns self-compassion, self-love, and self-trust
- Acceptance that this was part of your journey
- Stronger boundaries
- Improved relationships in the future
- An awareness that not all people are well, or who they say they are
- Stronger intuition
- Spiritual Growth
What is needed to receive these gifts of post traumatic growth?
It will take some work and dedication to yourself, and you are so worth it. Here are some of the things you must be committed to:
- Education – You must learn about the characteristics and tactics of narcissistic abuse. Narcissism is on a spectrum, but someone with only a few traits can be harmful and dangerous. For example, someone with no true empathy.
- Get clear on your truth. Each relationship is unique. What is happening to you?
- Disclosure – You have to talk about what is happening and what happened to you to make sense of it and begin to process it.
- Take time for healing – Find the healers, professionals, who get it and let them guide you as you process it all. Not all therapists are trained to recognize or treat narcissistic abuse.
- Manage Your Grief – And all of your emotions remembering that grieving is natural and necessary. That includes the anger and the sadness.
- Make Meaning – Create a narrative about your trauma and your life moving forward. There is grace in every part of your story when you come to an acceptance of your experience and of yourself.
Your suffering, if surrendered and given its natural course, will be life changing for the better. You will feel amazing on the other side of it and be ready for new beginnings. The lessons will be learned and integrated into a shiny new you.
It’s a promise, “Not only that, but we rejoice in or sufferings knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.” Romans 5:3-5
Thank you, Donna!