“You are mine. I own you. You will not do anything without my permission and if I suspect you are building confidence to act without my consent, I will tear you down until you realise that without me you are nothing. If you dare to leave, I will make it my lifelong mission to make you pay for disrespecting me. At first I will remind you of how wonderful things were at the start, how much I loved you and tell you that everything will be different if you just come home. Once you are here I will punish you. I will make sure you NEVER dare to leave ever again and if you do I will make you believe I will kill you. Our kids are simply weapons to be used by me to hurt you. When you or the kids cry, I know it means I am winning. You are mine”
The narcissist never said this but I know that it is what was going on in their head. And if you’re here then you probably recognise the words yourself.
A narcissist came into my life 5 years ago and flipped it clean upside down. As a social worker I had witnessed abuse and the devastating impact it had on lives but to live it was/is completely different and I wasn’t in the slightest bit prepared.
I was fortunate that in my situation I was able to put some distance between us but their behaviour impacted mine, and my families lives, on an almost daily basis. I was attacked, threatened, stalked and walked all over. It made me depressed, I put on weight and felt completely hopeless. Even worse it brought out a side of me that I didn’t like – hate.
Hate is a draining and worthless emotion because it only ends up hurting you. I didn’t like who I was becoming so I decided to take action. I diversified my training, read every article I could on narcissism and spoke to real life victims and survivors.
Recovering from abuse is a journey and one that I will always be on but I am getting back to the old me. The one who used to laugh and have fun. And now I want to help others on their journey.
So if you’re sick of feeling like they are one step ahead of you, that everything you say is worthless and that you are completely trapped in their web of lies, deceit and cruelty please do get in touch.
I have particular expertise in preventing parental alienation, co-parenting with a narcissist and personal recovery including breaking the patterns of abuse using NLP, REBT and Life Coaching techniques.
Even if you’re not quite ready for that and just want to chat, I am happy to listen so book yourself in for your free 1 hour Break Free session and you can share your hopes, fears and dreams in complete confidence with someone who understands.