Narcissists view other people as objects and feel completely justified in exploiting them. Lying is integral to impression management and mirroring; the lies enable narcissists to present false images of themselves to potential targets. Those targets lose the ability to make safe and appropriate decisions. They enter into the relationships, unaware of the danger in store for them. Then, once the targets are hooked, narcissists continue to use lies, along with a sprinkling of truth, in a multitude of ways, to ensure that their targets keep “playing.”
They lie through evasion and by withholding information. They lie as a form of gaslighting, in order to increase their control over their targets by making them constantly question themselves. They often repeatedly tell the ultimate lie, that they “love” their targets. And, they lie just for the fun of it.DOWNLOAD OUR FREE RED FLAG CHECKLIST
Narcissists lie effortlessly and are very convincing. They experience pleasure from lying because they lack the normal range of human emotions. They are empty and bored, they lack empathy for others, and they do not feel shame or remorse. This emptiness also enables them to lie with minimal effort. They can look people straight in the eye and lie quickly and guiltlessly, even when confronted with probing questions and evidence of the previous deception. It is also easy for them to deny the lies, make up excuses, and project their own behavior on to others, which is, of course, a lie in itself.
They also lie to make others feel sorry for them. They are exploiters, and so they take advantage of the natural desire most people have to help and nurture their fellow human beings. They use deception (and sometimes a smidgen of truth) to create a plethora of fabricated ailments and problems. Common pity plays include fake illnesses and injuries, along with “crazy” exes, car accidents, and theft, to name just a few.
Pathological Chronic lying – On the low end of the lying spectrum they can be dishonest, cunning, sly, clever and resourceful in creating lies. On the higher end of a pathological narcissist, the liar is deceptive, manipulative, deceitful, and unscrupulous to get at the core of a victim’s insecurities. They start by lying about themselves, then they move into lying about their Ex’s, their jobs and accomplishments. They lie about their feelings for you to hook you into bonding quickly. In the end, they will lie about you and call you the crazy ex. Then expect them to lie about the lies.
Often asked; “how do I know if the narcissist is lying?” the answer is if their lips are moving.