What you feel– You feel like you’re constantly forgiving them and trying to keep the peace and all the while wondering where the person is that you knew in the start of the relationship. You’ll feel like no matter what they do, you just don’t want to argue with them about it. This is simply, because they’ve done warn you down to not try to validate your feelings with them, because there is no point. You know how draining it all is, so you feel like you’re doing all you can do, just to get through it. Whatever the day may bring.
What they’re actually doing– First and foremost, they have no real plans to change any of the unwanted behaviors. They have fake plans though. This is all through a lot of fast talking and low-dose love bombing. That is who they really are. They don’t care how their negative behavior affects you, not one bit. They haven’t the conscience capability to care for others, they need to save all that energy for themselves. After all, they’re the only one that truly matters and anyone else is just a pawn. If you tell them how something they did/ or said made you feel, they will maybe cry and apologize and make promises of changing it, and tell you will never happen again, but know this….. it is all LIES! With each time you forgive them, they are getting the message that it is ok to keep treating you this way, because you will always be there and they’ve got you. Once you are able to show them you have boundaries, they will be aggressive and fight it, because of their fear of losing you as supply. This is where things can get really bad, so don’t let the red flags wave with all the hot air they blow up your butt. Get out as early as you can, for your peace and sanity. Hold them accountable for what they’ve done. They believe you to be dumb and stupid and weak, if you weren’t, you would’ve already gotten them out of your life. They know as long as you’re willing to put up with it, that you are weak and so they have no reason to change. The only changing they do is the swapping of the many masks they wear. rest assured that when you do let them go, they will put the same mask they wore in the start on for their next target. Why? They know it works and gets them in. It will remain an unchanged pattern of unchanged behavior, until we say, “Enough is enough!”
Roslynn Bates, A.K.A. Rose