Narcissist Red Flag Rushing Intimacy is tool a narcissist uses at that the beginning of a relationship sweep you off your feet to literally get you out of emotional balance. Narcissists pretend to fall in love with you quickly, they asked deep thoughtful questions, they tell you they have never loved anyone as they love you, you are perfect in their eyes. Later you look back at how there were so many of the same interests. They loved everything you loved. They wined and dined you, they couldn’t get enough of you. They really showed you they cared about you. More than likely it was the most romantic relationship you have ever had. It was easy to believe them.
The narcissist speeds and rushes relationship to confuse victims and not give them a chance to process what is happening and how they really feel. Narcissists use the relationship tactic of “Soulmate Scam”. They turn the charm is ON, the narcissist comes on strong, sweeps you off your feet. It seems a miracle! He seems to have the same interests, goals, philosophies, tastes, and habits. He admires you, your looks, your ambitions, and your dreams. No one has ever been so perfect for him and with predictable speed, the narcissist wants to start a life with you – NOW. He appears to be a good person with good family roots, appears helpful, comforting, enlightened and so sensitive. You never question his integrity – there is not enough time or healthy distance to do this. Instead, you agree, you are soulmates. You may figure it out quickly or it may take decades but one day you will find your knight in shining armor has become your nightmare.
Lovebombing is another manipulative weapon in the arsenal of the narcissist. Lovebombing literally ‘bombs’ their target, you, with compliments, texts, phone calls, flowers, gifts, selfie sending, ‘I miss you’ texts even if it’s only been a few hours. They gobble up your time, methodically isolate you from your friends as you are convincing you to spend more and more time with him. A narcissist will compare you to the others in his past and tell you how different you are, how perfect you are for them – how they wished they had met you a long time ago. They rush sexual intimacy, talk about moving in together, they go shopping with you, buying household items together – all in a whirlwind romance to marriage.DOWNLOAD OUR FREE RED FLAG CHECKLIST
Red Flag of a Narcissist
Social Media – Waging His Tail is a growing activity of the narcissist. This tool adds social media to his already over-the-top texting – first thing in the morning, last thing at night. Facebook posts and snap chatting (watch out for Snapchat because this evidence disappears). These add to his perceived charm, the speed, and intensity of his pursuit. If he plasters your Facebook page with compliments, flattery, songs, and poems. They text you dozens, if not hundreds of times per day. You come to rely on this over-communication as a source of confidence. If this happens watch for other signs.
Something else about the “Soulmate Scam” – when he quickly declares you his soul mate. For some reason, you don’t find it creepy. On the first few dates, you do most of the talking and they just can’t believe how perfect you are for them. She will tell you how much the two of you have in common.
You will be compared to everyone else in their life. Ex-lovers, friends, family members, and your eventual replacement. When idealizing, they make you feel special by telling you how much better you are than these people. When devaluing, they use these comparisons to hurt you.
They tell you very personal stories about themselves They want to know everything about you. Be very careful about what you tell them too soon, they will use it against you.