When the mask falls and you learn the truth, a narcissist will react with anger and crank up the evil. - Tracy A. Malone
Stream of consciousness - Narcissists have no filter and feel they can say anything in their stream of consciousness. These hurtful things can cut you to your core because they always attack the things they know aren't true. This creates confusion and you feel the need to defend yourself from the attacks. Once you speak up to explain, you are called abusive just for defending yourself. The eggshell dance of not standing up for yourself begins, because it wasn't worth the trauma and drama. - Tracy A. Malone
Resist making this mistake, leverage only works by surprise - As tempting as it is to show your narcissist the juicy intel you found on them, resist! Leverage is only leverage if they can't plan their defense. If you mess up and tell them, they can plan to smear you so no one believes you, they can have time to point the finger at you, or create a dialogue about how this was somehow your fault. Hold the information for your lawyer and mediator and use it at the right moment. - Tracy A. Malone
Having to predict what a narcissist is thinking is exhausting. - Tracy A. Malone
When you reject a narcissist the wound goes deep. In their sick little minds no one leaves them, so a narcissistic injury occurs. Then the turning of the table happens, when they tell everyone that the breakup was their idea. - Tracy A. Malone
A narcissist hooks up an IV to your energy and spirit and sucks it out. - Tracy A. Malone
Ghosting tactic works because... When they ghost you it gives you the message of "what's wrong with me." Then our logical brain kicks in and tells us messages: "If only I had or hadn't done (fill in the blank)". We then solve it "I can do better, then they will never leave me". You try harder to make them happy, this increases their supply and they get the reward without ever earning it. - Tracy A. Malone
People show you exactly who they are when you go through difficult times. - Tracy A. Malone
Tap into your courage to find your bravery. You will get through this. - Tracy A. Malone
Does the universe feel like it's on replay? Until you learn the lessons the universe gives us new opportunities to grow and learn. - Tracy A. Malone
Did they ever love you? A common question and struggle for most victims of abuse. Your meaning of love and theirs are two quite different things. You love someone unconditionally while they can pretend to love for supply and personal gain. Look at how it ended... was it with love and grace? Answered your own question? - Tracy A. Malone
Using children to continue to abuse. Children's parties after narcissistic divorce. Of course, in rare cases the narcissist can be civil and enjoy coming to your child's birthday party. More likely is they will make it a weapon to turn your kids away from you. They can use tactics like guilt, to make the child feel bad as if it was their decision to make. They will have the child guilt you into insisting the narcissist parent be invited. Then they will spoil the party with passive aggressive behaviors. - Tracy A. Malone
Divorcing your narcissist - You need a clear strategy, goals, focus, and a really good team. Mix with a touch of being really pissed off you can get through this. - Tracy A. Malone
You can't undo yesterday but you can create a better tomorrow. - Tracy A. Malone
Narcissistic Coparenting - You need a deescalation strategy, because they will never change. They will keep pushing your buttons and triggering you until you learn to control the conversation. - Tracy A. Malone
Narcissist - To your face they say exactly what you want to hear. They love what you love, they are perfect on paper. Behind your back they are evaluating your vulnerabilities to see if you would be good supply. When you are hooked the devaluing abuse starts. - Tracy A. Malone
Listen to your intuition now. It's not too late. - Tracy A. Malone
Rule number one - Do not outshine the narcissist. It's ok if they sing your praises to others because that is about them as they show the world their trophy - you! This is the stage performance that often confuses the victims. - Tracy A. Malone
In hindsight, the mask fell. You knew too much and had to be eliminated. - Tracy A. Malone
A Hallmark Card - Can't make up for narcissistic abuse. Don't be fooled, they aren't sorry. - Tracy A. Malone
Recovery is made of thousands of baby steps. Keep climbing. - Tracy A. Malone
Trojan support horse - Most divorces with a narcissist tear your support structure apart. Never trust their family to be on your side, proceed with caution and tell them nothing that can be used as a piece of weaponry against you. Their family's loyalty will usually be to them not you. - Tracy A. Malone
Being with a Narcissist is like having someone play soccer with your heart. - Tracy A. Malone
You can't fix crazy. Stop trying. - Tracy A. Malone
Trophies. Narcissists often collect things and keep them from past lovers. Note: This is a serial killer type of thing. Then they expose these things to the next supply to make them jealous. Did your EX do this? - Tracy A. Malone
Good enough... When you settle for "good enough" or someone that doesn't want the same things you want, eventually you will lose time thinking that if you just show them how wonderful life would be with you that they might stay. This type of settling causes great pain when they decide to move on. They might have always said this isn't what they want but you never thought this day would come. - Tracy A. Malone
Triangulation Tactic - Narcissists tear down their ex's in the beginning of a relationship. Claiming they were crazy, bipolar, alcoholics... Later in the relationship these same ex's are thrown in your face. They were smarter than you, prettier than you and more successful than you. The triangulation tactic is part of the devalue stage and it cuts you to your core. I suggest before you allow this comparison to affect your heart, think about this, if they were so good " Where are they now?" Note that is they start out by calling their ex crazy, you will join those ranks when they discard you. - Tracy A. Malone
No a narcissist can not change! - Tracy A. Malone
When you are raised by a narcissist or you married one, you are taught to endure the abuse. - Tracy A. Malone
