I am often asked by parents if they should tell their children mommy or daddy is a narcissist. The answer is not right now and maybe never. Childrens worlds are already upside down because of the split and because of new routines, new homes, new friends and a paralyzing fear that they did something wrong.
As much as parents try to protect their kids from learning the truth they often find themselves spilling the whole crazy drama on them and they should never be exposed to this information. Pitting them against the other parent is so bad and will eventually backfire as they try to defend that parent.
Your job is to educate yourself, and create a new and different life with them. Make a new normal, that new normal should be as close to normal as you can make it. Letting them see their friends and do the sports they do will help keep them in check. If you suddenly isolate them because this is ‘YOUR TIME’ they will not heal well and may turn against the parent that tries to change their life.