We break them down into three stages – Victim – Survivor – surTHRIVER

We want you to know that recovery is much more than learning about what is narcissistic abuse, who are these narcissists are, learn the lingo of narcissistic abuse and what just happened. These things you must learn so that you can identify and avoid getting mixed up with another narcissist.

If you are ready to heal you must learn about yourself, your childhood trauma, you must learn boundary setting and be able to understand your accountability and above ALL you must heal the PTSD. What a narcissist did to you is only half the story, the other half is your own issues as to why you stayed, why you allowed yourself to be treated this badly. Note this not like the blaming from a friend that doesn’t understand more of a self-exploration, remember a narcissist will not take accountability for anything, as survivors we need to understand this and make peace with it.

What we didn’t know did hurt us, so now we must learn and protect ourselves so this never happens again.

Of course, if you were born into a narcissistic family some of this might not apply to you staying, but often the victims of a narcissist had a narcissist family member that basically trained you to accept this type of behavior. If this is you or you are just learning about your past keep an open mind to hearing this news.

stages-page

Stage One “Victim” – You Might Be feeling

  • Facing horrific betrayal
  • Hurt
  • Confusion
  • Rejection
  • Denial
  • Shame
  • Anger at X or Narcissist
  • Double victimized by friends and family that think you're crazy
  • Angry at yourself for not knowing
  • Anger at yourself for the lost time – the love you gave it all to
  • Fear – what will I do now – financially, children
  • Fear – for the unknown future that has been changed for good
  • Abandonment
  • Loneliness

What You Need To Learn

Stage Two “Survivor” – You Might Be feeling

  • Not ready to forgive
  • Struggling to rebuild life
  • Getting counseling
  • Ready to be back to self
  • Trust issues still present
  • Learning self-care
  • Reevaluating friendships
  • Anger is less, still triggered by events
  • Hopeful
  • Trigger based depression
  • Learned self-soothing techniques
  • Uncovering childhood trauma that made you a victim
  • Rebuilding financial strength
  • Hyper aware of the flags / you might see narcissists everywhere

What You Need To Learn

  • Boundaries & Setting Limits – Complete our Boundaries Course
  • Work on taking back your life
  • Get back out there going out with friends and family (stop isolating)
  • Don’t stop learning – engage in our community – Join our community group
  • Study vulnerability – gratitude – happiness

Stage Three “surTHRIVER” – Are you still feeling

  • Angry and resentful toward the one that did this to you?
  • Burdened with thoughts or emotions about unresolved events of the past?
  • Embarrassed or shameful about having been victimized and used by your abuser?
  • Unable to concentrate at work, difficulty caring for your children, unable to rebuild your life?
  • That there’s no way you’ll ever want to or be able to forgive your abuser?
  • Like you’re being judged by others for not moving on and creating your life the way you most want it to be?
  • A yearning for freedom to express yourself fully and pursue your dreams passionately?

What You Need To Learn

  • Refocus – Learn the dangers of holding onto emotional attachments and experience the power of letting go. Release the bonds to the narcissist/abuser in your life so you can refocus your efforts back on yourself and your new life.
  • Self-confidence – Reclaim the old you and find even more personal power, self-love and self-confidence to propel you forward. Experience self-love so that you can turn chaos into calm, overwhelm into options and anxiety into joy.
  • Mindfulness – Learn to be fully present in the moment, where your mind is calm and anxiety disappears. You will learn powerful tools to instantly bring yourself back to this moment, so you can live your life with a new sense of adventure, curiosity and peace every day.
  • Build New Healthy Relationships – Learn to connect in new ways, so you attract better relationships and authentic friendships that support the new you. Get tools that effectively help you deal with triggers, stress, fear and anxiety. Gain new healthy and empowering relationship skills that help you make better choices in the future.