Summer is the perfect time to focus on your healing and I am going to share with you ideas to get you started. Let’s face it, anyone who has suffered from abuse will need to do some serious work to move past the pain and trauma left in its wake. I have put together some of my favorite books for healing and I encourage you to pick one up and make this choice to focus on your healing this summer. The sooner you get started the sooner you will feel more like yourself and get back to doing the things that make you happy.
REASON #1 – THE WEATHER
The weather in most places is lovely so you can begin to walk, run, and spend time outside. Exercise is proven to be the best thing for your mental health but why not take it one step further and listen to a healing book while you walk? You would be killing two birds with one stone by mixing physical activity with new knowledge. Or, bring a camp chair to one of your favorite spots, plop it under a tree or sit in the sun to read your book on healing.
I am a huge fan of workbooks – I have an entire shelf of them – and before narc abuse, I never knew they existed. Make the commit to yourself that this summer, you will take the book outside in the mornings or late evenings and listen to the birds, breathe in the fresh air, and do the work. Sitting by a stream, in a park, or in an open field promotes peacefulness so that you can dig deep and focus on the work you need to do to heal.
Outdoor locations are not always an option as some experience extreme heat and sitting outside is not comfortable to many, but you could go to a lovely bookstore, library, or your favorite cafe to do the work. Changing scenery is so powerful and will help to keep you on track. Think of this dedicated “you” time as a therapy session; set a timer for an hour and stop when it rings if you feel you should. This will keep you on your path and keep any overwhelming feelings at bay. Who doesn’t love a good summer novel? Reward yourself with that perfect book after you complete your healing work.
REASON #2 – GROUNDING OR EARTHING
Grounding yourself is a therapeutic technique that focuses on realigning your electrical energy with the earth. We can do this anytime inside or out but being outside in the summer sun brings an added element of connecting to the earth which is known to create a more powerful experience.
Walking outside – Take your shoes off and walk in the grass: stop often to feel the grass between your toes, close your eyes, and envision the earth’s energy flowing up your legs and through your body.
Lay on the ground – The same technique of absorbing energy applies but lay on the grass or sand on a beach. Connect with the consciousness that being one with nature offers.
Allow yourself to experience the calm and grounding sensations. Tap into your senses and acknowledge the soothing feelings as they permeate your mind, body, and soul. What do you hear as you sit under that tree? Maybe birds, cars, waves, and wind. What do you smell? Are there flowers near you? Get close and smell them. Inhale deeply as if it is the first and last time you will ever be able to experience this scent. Look deep inside and be content as you are mentally transported somewhere safe.
REASON #3 – SUMMER AROMATHERAPY
Aromatherapy in nature is free. By literally stopping to smell the roses, you are in fact slowing down your body and introducing the power of nature to help you heal your mind. I have a membership to a botanical garden and I try to visit several times a month. Flowers are healing because they are beautiful in that moment and provide peace, but we are able to understand that everything has a season of change – exactly like your healing journey.
The smells of summer are amplified when we couple them with fresh summer fruit. Grab your favorite peach or plum and head outside. As you hold it, feel its firmness and shape. Feel the skin; is it fuzzy or smooth? Study the shape before you take each bite – every piece is different, yet beautiful, in its own way. Finally, before you take that bite: place it under your nose and breathe in the sweet aroma. Can you smell it yet? Gently bite – just deep enough to break the skin – and smell it now. Is it sweet? Tangy? Does it remind you of another time?
Take small bites, savoring the sweetness. Go terribly slow, taking 5 minutes to eat this peach. As you swallow for the final time, audibly admit to yourself that you’ve slowed down your internal noise: your anxiety and negative thoughts while creating a new memory that transforms you to another place, a calmer place. Can you taste summer?
REASON #4 – AVOID THE DOUBLE WAMMY OF WINTER BLUES
Summer alleviates the winter blues by filtering in the joys of all things happy and healthy. The sunshine, afternoon thunderstorms, roaming wildlife, and gentle evening breezes will boost your summer healing and help negate the upcoming colder months. The dreary weather may generate an emotional struggle but brighter days will be ahead because you’re doing the work while you’re energized by the earth. If you head into winter in trauma or pain, your emotions can easily get out of control. Do yourself a favor and get a jump on creating a more serene future by doing the work now.
REASON #5 – TIME TO ABSORB HEALING STRATEGIES
I want to help you move the dial on your healing, so I am putting my courses on sale.
Tune up your boundary setting skills – When you were with your narcissist, you probably weren’t allowed to set boundaries, or they simply didn’t honor them. Master how to stop attracting narcissistic people. Having weak, or non-existent, boundaries makes you the perfect narc-bait. The key to learning boundaries is to understand how to identify when you need to set a boundary, how to communicate that boundary, and finding ways to be stronger so narcissists don’t continue to abuse you. Learn more and get this course for just $20 with this coupon code: SUMMERB.
Stop triggering yourself by learning the skills to change your story – The stories of narcissistic abuse victims are all different and yet so similar. You have endured verbal abuse with lies, gaslighting, and underhanded tricks and in the end, you are just generally confused. Were you abused? You have a terrible story and have good reason to hold onto the full-blown unbelievable details. I get it but if you want to move forward with your life, you need to learn new skills to control the triggers and protect yourself from future abuse. Every time you share the crazy drama with someone, you risk getting triggered which causes the cycle of abuse to hold you stuck in that unwelcome place and time.
In this workshop, you will learn how to TAKE CONTROL and CHANGE the story. To be clear, you are not sweeping your story under the rug nor are you denying what happened but you will learn skills to extract the lesson and shorten the story so it doesn’t continually throw you back into the pain cycle. A story has the power to paralyze and force you live there as if it were today. The opportunity to create a new life (new chapter) is stripped from us because we’re too busy reliving the pain and horror from the wound of abuse. A wound story attracts narcissistic people. If you are one of those unlucky survivors who keeps repeating the patterns by striking up new relationships with narcissists, you need to understand that your story is the magnet that draws them towards you. Learn more and get this course for just $40 with this coupon code: SUMMERCTSCHECK OUT MY SUMMERTIME READING SUGGESTIONS