9 Tips for Coping with Holiday Depression and Stress

The stress of the holidays triggers sadness and depression for many people. This time of year is especially difficult because there’s an expectation of feeling merry and generous. People compare their emotions to what they assume others are experiencing or what they’re supposed to feel and then think that they alone fall short. They judge themselves and […]

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The Perplexing Reason Narcissists Ruin Special Days

Have you noticed this?  If you have been involved in any kind of relationship with a narcissist, it will become obvious that drama and chaos are stirred up around your special days, be it a holiday, birthday, anniversary, etc. AND, it is very likely that you will be shaking your head saying, “What the heck?!?!” […]

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Complex Grief and Trauma In Toxic Relationships

We can’t talk about narcissistic emotional abuse without talking about grief and trauma. Both of these will come up in your recovery. Each individual has their own unique losses to assess and to grieve if it becomes necessary to leave the relationship. Some of these may include: loss of a dream loss of an intact […]

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Manipulative Tactics That Make You Stay

As humans, we want to believe what others say, especially those we love. It is hard to fathom that someone we care for would not be honest with us. Unfortunately, being in a relationship with a narcissist or abusive personality will often condition us to believe whatever the person says, without question. Why be suspicious […]

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The Narcissist’s Spouse: Understanding Primary Supply

As a complex trauma therapist who specializes in treating trauma incurred through narcissistic abuse, I encounter many spouses desperate to escape from the perfidious torment of marriage to a malignant narcissist. Similarly, I work with adult children of mothers and fathers who embody malignant narcissistic traits or fit the diagnostic criteria for NPD. Narcissistic Personality […]

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Recognizing An Emotional Abuser

The truth is you may not recognize him or her at first because they will work overtime to make you feel like you are the answer to their prayers.  They will make you feel like you are one in a million, larger than life, and floating on cloud 9 in an intense love affair.  They […]

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Common Manipulative Tactics of Toxic People

Nobody likes being played. And most people in toxic relationships – which we refer to better as “manipulationships” have no idea that this is exactly what our partners have been doing since the very beginning: using our empathy against us, and tapping on this wonderful quality to keep us “stuck,” or keep us coming back. One […]

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Please Hoover Me, Narcissist. Why Aren’t They?

I certainly cannot speak for everyone, but I can tell you that you are not alone. I feel sad for you, because I have hoped for the same thing so many times and it never ended well. I’ve had a crazy roller coaster ride of hoovers, so I’ll try my best to share my thoughts […]

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Love After Narcissistic Abuse: Sharing Real Intimacy After Being The Supply

My experience as a survivor and a therapist specializing in treating both complex trauma and narcissistic abuse syndrome has shown me that the violent personal assault inflicted by NPD abuse causes Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in victims, irrespective of whether they present with a prior history of complex trauma. Accordingly, having somehow managed to keep oneself glued […]

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