Nobody likes being played. And most people in toxic relationships – which we refer to better as “manipulationships” have no idea that this is exactly what our partners have been doing since the very beginning: using our empathy against us, and tapping on this wonderful quality to keep us “stuck,” or keep us coming back. One […]
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Let’s talk about boundaries, baby… When I was a teenager, I knew exactly what a boundary was. It was that invisible line we crossed over when my parents drove us from Arizona on our way to Disneyland. Welcome to California! When my first husband came along in my early twenties, I held tight onto my […]
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I certainly cannot speak for everyone, but I can tell you that you are not alone. I feel sad for you, because I have hoped for the same thing so many times and it never ended well. I’ve had a crazy roller coaster ride of hoovers, so I’ll try my best to share my thoughts […]
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My experience as a survivor and a therapist specializing in treating both complex trauma and narcissistic abuse syndrome has shown me that the violent personal assault inflicted by NPD abuse causes Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in victims, irrespective of whether they present with a prior history of complex trauma. Accordingly, having somehow managed to keep oneself glued […]
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Physically removing yourself is often not the most difficult part of getting out of a toxic relationship. What many people who have never been through it don’t realize is that once you’re out, an abuser’s voice remains in your head. Getting out of an abusive relationship is extremely difficult, and staying out is even harder. […]
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After close to three decades and without any planning, I chose to escape a narcissistically abusive marriage. Wow! I wished I would have read Tracy A. Malone’s book, “Divorcing Your Narcissist: You Can’t Make This Shit Up!” because then I would have learned from her extensive research and experience about the “covert tricks they pull” […]
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Have you ever noticed how the goalpost keeps moving when dealing with a narcissist? The rules, expectations, behaviors, and conduct are consistently inconsistent. Narcissists use random and varied tactics of fear and confusion to condition their targets. The objective is to keep them from ever achieving a state of equilibrium; to render them defenseless, compliant, […]
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Know how to tell if a narcissist is lying? Their mouth is open. I’m definitely going crazy, I whispered to the stranger in the bathroom mirror. I used to be so levelheaded. I used to think logically. I used to feel like I was on top of things. And yet, as each year passed in […]
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Even in this day and age of generational shifts in parenting and shared parental responsibilities, the father is still viewed by many as a collateral caregiver whose primary function is to mete out discipline and pay the bills. However, the father is so much more than just an authority figure and a material provider. In fact, the […]
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The most common question I get from my clients or readers is, “What if I’m the narcissist?” If you’ve asked yourself this question, it’s likely because your narcissist is accusing you of being one. But the simple answer is, if you think you’re a narcissist, then that means you are concerned about other people’s feelings, […]
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