Can A Narcissist Change? You Betcha — Just Not In The Way You Think

…And definitely not in the way you hope! change changed/changes/changing verb: to make (someone or something) different; alter or modify noun: the act or instance of making or becoming different tactic: what a narcissist does to keep their victim in a state of confusion and dependency Okay, maybe that last one isn’t exactly in the dictionary. […]

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The Narcissist’s Spouse: Understanding Primary Supply

As a complex trauma therapist who specializes in treating trauma incurred through narcissistic abuse, I encounter many spouses desperate to escape from the perfidious torment of marriage to a malignant narcissist. Similarly, I work with adult children of mothers and fathers who embody malignant narcissistic traits or fit the diagnostic criteria for NPD. Narcissistic Personality […]

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Signs of Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are essential in recovery from codependency. They both build and reflect self-esteem. Learning to have healthy boundaries is an essential aspect of individuating and becoming an individual and autonomous person. Boundaries are learned in childhood. Some dysfunctional families are enmeshed and your individuality and boundaries are ignored or openly disrespected in words or […]

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Recognizing An Emotional Abuser

The truth is you may not recognize him or her at first because they will work overtime to make you feel like you are the answer to their prayers.  They will make you feel like you are one in a million, larger than life, and floating on cloud 9 in an intense love affair.  They […]

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Common Manipulative Tactics of Toxic People

Nobody likes being played. And most people in toxic relationships – which we refer to better as “manipulationships” have no idea that this is exactly what our partners have been doing since the very beginning: using our empathy against us, and tapping on this wonderful quality to keep us “stuck,” or keep us coming back. One […]

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Love After Narcissistic Abuse: Sharing Real Intimacy After Being The Supply

My experience as a survivor and a therapist specializing in treating both complex trauma and narcissistic abuse syndrome has shown me that the violent personal assault inflicted by NPD abuse causes Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in victims, irrespective of whether they present with a prior history of complex trauma. Accordingly, having somehow managed to keep oneself glued […]

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Taking Time For Healing Is Not Optional

The desire to experience unconditional love is the heart cry of every human heart. Loving yourself matters and fulfilling this experience in our lifetime is the spiritual path of awakening and enlightenment. Our early relationships, our experiences of friendship, a romantic encounter with another soul, and our commitments and decisions to love all influence the […]

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Individuation: From Codependent Chameleon to Selfhood

When we first met, I told my husband I was very “adaptable.” I didn’t realize the price of being a chameleon until I started recovery and my journey of individuation. By then I was dead inside. I’d spent years adapting to abuse and belittling that I’d absorbed. I was detached from my feelings and needs, […]

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How To Disarm A Narcissist During Divorce Mediation

Have you ever noticed how the goalpost keeps moving when dealing with a narcissist? The rules, expectations, behaviors, and conduct are consistently inconsistent. Narcissists use random and varied tactics of fear and confusion to condition their targets. The objective is to keep them from ever achieving a state of equilibrium; to render them defenseless, compliant, […]

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