Nobody likes being played. And most people in toxic relationships – which we refer to better as “manipulationships” have no idea that this is exactly what our partners have been doing since the very beginning: using our empathy against us, and tapping on this wonderful quality to keep us “stuck,” or keep us coming back. One […]
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Let’s talk about boundaries, baby… When I was a teenager, I knew exactly what a boundary was. It was that invisible line we crossed over when my parents drove us from Arizona on our way to Disneyland. Welcome to California! When my first husband came along in my early twenties, I held tight onto my […]
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My experience as a survivor and a therapist specializing in treating both complex trauma and narcissistic abuse syndrome has shown me that the violent personal assault inflicted by NPD abuse causes Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in victims, irrespective of whether they present with a prior history of complex trauma. Accordingly, having somehow managed to keep oneself glued […]
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The desire to experience unconditional love is the heart cry of every human heart. Loving yourself matters and fulfilling this experience in our lifetime is the spiritual path of awakening and enlightenment. Our early relationships, our experiences of friendship, a romantic encounter with another soul, and our commitments and decisions to love all influence the […]
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When we first met, I told my husband I was very “adaptable.” I didn’t realize the price of being a chameleon until I started recovery and my journey of individuation. By then I was dead inside. I’d spent years adapting to abuse and belittling that I’d absorbed. I was detached from my feelings and needs, […]
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Have you ever noticed how the goalpost keeps moving when dealing with a narcissist? The rules, expectations, behaviors, and conduct are consistently inconsistent. Narcissists use random and varied tactics of fear and confusion to condition their targets. The objective is to keep them from ever achieving a state of equilibrium; to render them defenseless, compliant, […]
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The most common question I get from my clients or readers is, “What if I’m the narcissist?” If you’ve asked yourself this question, it’s likely because your narcissist is accusing you of being one. But the simple answer is, if you think you’re a narcissist, then that means you are concerned about other people’s feelings, […]
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It’s easier than you might think! Wait, so you’re telling me I can’t spot a narcissist right out of the gate? AGHHH! Why does it have to take so looooong? What if I’ve already fallen for them? What if I get hurt again? What if I never find anyone to trust or love again?! Okay, […]
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