The Narcissistic Parent – Family Dynamic The dynamics in a narcissistic household are abundant. Each member of the family has certain expectations to fulfill, to satisfy the needs of the narcissist. In a case where there is only one child, this particular child may have the daunting task of serving several different roles to appease […]
Read MoreThe Narcissist’s Spouse: Understanding Primary Supply
As a complex trauma therapist who specializes in treating trauma incurred through narcissistic abuse, I encounter many spouses desperate to escape from the perfidious torment of marriage to a malignant narcissist. Similarly, I work with adult children of mothers and fathers who embody malignant narcissistic traits or fit the diagnostic criteria for NPD. Narcissistic Personality […]
Read MoreRecognizing An Emotional Abuser
The truth is you may not recognize him or her at first because they will work overtime to make you feel like you are the answer to their prayers. They will make you feel like you are one in a million, larger than life, and floating on cloud 9 in an intense love affair. They […]
Read MoreCommon Manipulative Tactics of Toxic People
Nobody likes being played. And most people in toxic relationships – which we refer to better as “manipulationships” have no idea that this is exactly what our partners have been doing since the very beginning: using our empathy against us, and tapping on this wonderful quality to keep us “stuck,” or keep us coming back. One […]
Read MoreHow to Protect Yourself in a World of Narcissists and Other Assholes
Let’s talk about boundaries, baby… When I was a teenager, I knew exactly what a boundary was. It was that invisible line we crossed over when my parents drove us from Arizona on our way to Disneyland. Welcome to California! When my first husband came along in my early twenties, I held tight onto my […]
Read MoreLove After Narcissistic Abuse: Sharing Real Intimacy After Being The Supply
My experience as a survivor and a therapist specializing in treating both complex trauma and narcissistic abuse syndrome has shown me that the violent personal assault inflicted by NPD abuse causes Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in victims, irrespective of whether they present with a prior history of complex trauma. Accordingly, having somehow managed to keep oneself glued […]
Read MoreTrauma Bonding is as Powerful as Heroin Addiction: Why It’s So Hard to Escape Toxic Relationships
Physically removing yourself is often not the most difficult part of getting out of a toxic relationship. What many people who have never been through it don’t realize is that once you’re out, an abuser’s voice remains in your head. Getting out of an abusive relationship is extremely difficult, and staying out is even harder. […]
Read MoreParental Alienation: What Is It and How Do You Cope?
After close to three decades and without any planning, I chose to escape a narcissistically abusive marriage. Wow! I wished I would have read Tracy A. Malone’s book, “Divorcing Your Narcissist: You Can’t Make This Shit Up!” because then I would have learned from her extensive research and experience about the “covert tricks they pull” […]
Read MoreHow To Disarm A Narcissist During Divorce Mediation
Have you ever noticed how the goalpost keeps moving when dealing with a narcissist? The rules, expectations, behaviors, and conduct are consistently inconsistent. Narcissists use random and varied tactics of fear and confusion to condition their targets. The objective is to keep them from ever achieving a state of equilibrium; to render them defenseless, compliant, […]
Read MoreWhat A Narcissist Says vs. What They Actually Mean
Know how to tell if a narcissist is lying? Their mouth is open. I’m definitely going crazy, I whispered to the stranger in the bathroom mirror. I used to be so levelheaded. I used to think logically. I used to feel like I was on top of things. And yet, as each year passed in […]
Read More