The Path to Recovery of Narcissistic Abuse Involves Consciously Choosing Ourselves Over Our Partners

More than 60 million people have been in a pathological love relationship with someone who has an impaired conscience, such as a narcissist or a psychopath.1 Are you one of them?

Do you feel fiercely loyal toward your partner although your partner has put you through unspeakable acts of cruelty and betrayal?

Has your partner lied so much that sometimes you aren’t sure you know what’s real or who your partner really is?

Have you tried to break off the relationship yet feel powerless to stop your partner from walking in and out of your life?

Do you shift back and forth between believing that your partner is the love of your life and then questioning your sanity and feeling your life may be in danger?

Do you no longer recognize yourself?

Using a powerful and unique set of psychologically manipulative tactics, pathological partners can create impossible dilemmas that trap us in a distorted dream-state and hijack our thoughts and emotions.

Why Can’t I Leave a Narcissist with Kristen Milstead



Even after a pathological partner is gone, those tactics continue to lock us in an invisible prison and keeps us from accepting either conclusion about them: that we’ve enduring something abusive or that our partner truly loves us.

In my book, Why Can’t I Just Leave, you can read the stories of survivors who have broken out of their prisons and learn strategies for how to break free of your own. A free preview A free preview of the book is available by clicking this link.

When we are able to train our minds to recognize and accept the hold they have over us for what it is, like the Wizard of Oz behind the curtain, they begin to lose their power.

It’s not an easy process, but it can be done. When we take active psychological steps to choose ourselves again, we begin the path not only to freedom but to a happy and peaceful life.

1 Sandra L. Brown, M.A.,”60 Million Persons in the U.S. Negatively Affected by Someone Else’s Pathology,” Psychology Today, August 8, 2010,

Thank you Kristen Milstead for the wonderful article and interview!


Things do not always go your way and you may find yourself saying, “You can’t make this shit up!” It can be difficult to envision what your future might look like but if you can think of your life as chapters in a book, it will become easier to allow yourself to close one chapter and begin another. Not everyone who was in the last chapter will always get to join you in the next. Its ok.

Perhaps it might be less complicated to think of your life as a business project: you will create an intention for the next installment and take baby steps towards that goal. This journal will provide you the opportunity to look to the future, dream of your next chapter, and lay out the method to reach your target.

You alone control your future – whether you have an objective, life WILL go on. Rather than let the chips fall as they may, why not aspire to create what you want? Record your dreams and goals and set your objectives. Your destiny is your own – give it a nudge and create an outline for success.

What are your interests? What do you want your life to look like? Who would be in your life? How do they make you feel in this new plan? Are you happy to be alone or are you afraid? If you are afraid to be alone, determine why that is and how you can change it. Who are the friends you want in your next chapter? How will you make new friends? Are you ready to find love? Will you be able to trust again? What qualities will the new person in your life be required to have? Do you feel safe and loved?

My Next Chapter Journal Ideas:
What do I want tomorrow to look like?
What are my fears about tomorrow?
What are my goals?
How will I get there?
What work do you need to do to get stronger?
Who is in my next chapter?
How do I want to feel in this chapter?
Where do I want to be in six months? One year? Five years?

By writing in this journal notebook, you are mapping out your next chapter. Journal writing is self-help.
YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS SHIT UP! “My Next Chapter” Journal is a beautiful watercolor floral design – 6×9 120-page, lined journal notebook.

Give yourself or a friend the gift of a healing journal. These journals are designed to assist victims of narcissistic and emotional abuse but would be a perfect fit for anyone looking to better understand their next chapter in life and how to make it happen.


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