Trust me

Letter to my abuser

I trusted you because you told me to.

You won my heart by slowly creeping into my deepest wounds and you promised that you were safe and I safe being with you.

You promised that you would never do what they did, you were a victim too and you understood with such empathy that you made me feel understood and safe.

You built my trust so fast that I never had time to question, never had time to look beyond your caring facade.

I surrendered my heart because of that rushed trust. I never could have imagined that you weren’t real, that it was all a lie.

In my recovery from you and this last chapter of abuse, I learned not to freely give trust away because of someone’s words. Actions do speak louder than words.

Trust is earned by 1000’s of trustworthy moments. Times where a person is there for you, especially when it’s not convenient for them.

I want to thank you, my abuser, for teaching me I had so much work to do on myself, I had so much to learn about the human condition called narcissistic abuse and my own vulnerabilities that attracted you to me. I had so much to learn about who I give my trust to.

You are a sick and evil person and I do not condone what you did but because of you, I was able to see the lessons I needed to learn.

Tracy Malone