What Supply Were You? Narcissistic Green Flags
Narcissists use people for different reasons, those reasons are called supply. It is important that you do some deep, thinking about what supply you were because that is now a vulnerability that other abusers will be able to see. You can’t change the fact that you are a successful, kind caring person but you need to understand what you were used for so it doesn’t happen again. Often when people go through this exercise to figure out why they were used it helps free them because it makes the relationship more of a business transaction than a romantic love story.
YOU ARE NOT A NARC MAGNET YOU WERE TARGETED BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU CAN OFFER THEM
If you have attracted multiple narcissistic people in your life then you can be certain that your story and your vulnerabilities attracted them to you. In my workshop called – Change the Story, people learn to see these ‘green flags’ as a ‘green flag’ that the abusers throw on the field to decide if you will make a good supply. Think of it as ‘what you have to offer them’ or what they can get out of you. This workshop has changed the lives of so many people who keep attracting cluster B types.
Tracy, When we did this workshop in our group last week my entire life changed. I never saw so clearly why these types of people kept coming into my life, and I learned its not me! I feel like I have learned skills to help me with the rest of my life. Thank you, Paula
Money – they want it and it’s a whole lot easier to take yours than it is to work for their own.
Sex – they want it and they are so passionate, and they make it safe because you are different than anyone else in their lives.
Eye candy – have you noticed that many victims of narcissistic abuse are beautiful.
Your mind – they love to snag a smart person. Because if they really were an evil
abuser wouldn’t this smart person be smart enough to see them as they really are. You are their cover for normal.
Your assets – having a home or being financially secure is VERY appealing.
Responsibility – if they are not responsible then they need someone that can be that for them, make them somehow responsible by proxy.
Idealist – If you are a dreamer and believe there is good in all people. They quickly see you will give them many chances and believe in the good they will initially see in you.
Good listener – You show compassion for others and listen and empathize with people they begin the storytelling saga to pull you in.
Loyalty – being loyal to people is something that we easily show on our sleeve and a narcissist will make you loyal to them and then as they manipulate you, your loyalty will be held in question and they will use it against you to give them second, third and 20th chances.
Integrity – If you stand up for what is right, keep promises, and act consistent with good values, principles and beliefs, they will consider it a challenge to break you. They believe that you will stay longer because you have good values.
Forgiveness – if you display signs that you believe in forgiveness and you can let go of someone’s mistakes then once again, they see opportunity. They have now stamped the box that
you will forgive them repeatedly.
Responsible – if you are the type of person that takes responsibility for personal choices, once again this will be used against you.
Spiritual – spiritual people are generally compassionate and trusting. They might claim to be spiritual to hook you, but display no traits of a spiritual person.
Empathic and compassionate – if you are empathic, you are perfect bait because all they must do 1s build a story that tunes into your empathy. An empathic person feels others pain and does everything they can to make it better.
Your career could be a vulnerability – if you have a good job/career then you will be better able to provide money, assets.
Your kids – If you are empathic and caring and kind, they are getting the trifecta to serve their needs. You will also make a good mom or dad for the children they will use only as cover as a good family man or woman. Without you they would not know how to parent, they use the kids as a reflection of themselves. If the kids are great, they take credit, if there are any issues with the kids then they have you to blame – no responsibility on them.
Understand your woundness vulnerability Learn why you were targeted