When the Narcissist is a Brother…

My enemy/narc. is my brother. (true story Member) I thought that he and my wife were my best friends. First my wife turned on me, slandered me, took our business and home, and left me living in my car – and while she was doing that, suddenly my brother turned on me. When he turned on me though, my mother and sister started confiding in me that my brother had been treating them bad for years. But I was unaware, because he would tell them that I moved away because I hate them. So my brother used the “divide and conquer” tactic to keep my family from telling me how he was treating them. Turning on me was his first mistake, because I’m the type who doesn’t put up with crap like that. The whole family ended up ostracizing him. I stopped talking to him in 2009. However, he still believed he could turn the family on me, so he set out to slander me to my mother and sister. My sister refused to accept messages from him, and every time he attempted to slander me to my mother, it made her see what he was. Because he was losing ground, he started to vandalize my belongings, threaten me with violence, and his violence and desperation rose until he attempted to murder me. He set a trap on the basement stairs, and unscrewed the light bulbs, and left the house for the weekend. But it was my mother who was headed down the stairs when I told her to go get a flashlight. This was the last straw, and my mother had me change the locks, and he was put out of the house. I ignored him for over a year. But every so often I would try to give him another chance. But each time, he would pretend he was my buddy, but behind the scenes he would be gathering ammunition for his next attack. After he left I actually found a file on my mother’s computer where he was compiling a CASE against me. One of the times he attacked me – he had been stalking me online for a year and a half, watching me on a poetry website, and trying to compile evidence against me by looking for ANYTHING he could find in my words to make me appear criminal. Suddenly I was being attacked on a public forum by some stranger. . . who turned out to be him. In an email he sent me resulting in that interchange, he revealed to me his plan to utterly ruin my name, and make EVERYONE see me as he does.

Why does he hate me so much?

I didn’t put it together until a friend told me that it sounds like he’s jealous, and asked me if there’s anything he would be jealous about. At first I couldn’t think of anything, because that had never crossed my mind. However, in his own words to me I came to understand. . . Everyone looked up to me and respected me, because I always do good things for people. For instance, my grandmother and great aunt always looked forward to my visits, because I was eager to fix things for them around the house. However, they came to see my brother as a good for nothing leach, who only looked out selfishly for himself. This was the reputation I had in the family, and outside. People also would tell me I’m very intelligent. I’m also more naturally talented in music than him. And when I was married, I had a house, a successful business, and a good name in the community. My brother had none of that – but it was because he only looked out for his own interests. I never did any of those things as a competition, it’s just who I am. But for all those years he secreted despised me. He waited until I was going through a divorce to attack me. He waited until he thought I was weak, and he kicked me when I was down.) I cut him off again. But I still tried to give him a chance two more times. Each had the same result, with his baseless accusations. And each time he was slandering me behind my back. Finally I officially announced to him that I had trusted him for the last time. However, my sister had since married a man who is even worse than he is.

This man is so decisive and manipulating that he’s a master of gaslighting.

He had tried to gaslight me, my mother, and her children, numerous times. And he is so good at it that he would get you to question your own memory and knowledge. By now my sister had been manipulated so thoroughly that she just believed whatever he said. So I completely cut off association with he and my sister, which made enemies of them. I made the mistake of telling my brother that Kevin is the biggest chronic liar that I have ever met. . . and it wasn’t until later that I realized that he was behind the scenes using my words to divide and conquer, and to get back into their life. Now I had TWO narcissists against me – as well as my sister who is a micro-manager who likes everything to go her way. But my brother is the architect of the scheme to utterly ruin me, and once he saw that Kevin is a manipulative liar, he knew that such a man could be used for his purposes. I had cut all of them out of my life. But my brother was constantly trying to PULL ME into his drama. He would make accusations against me of things I knew nothing about, seeing we has zero communication. But my way of counteracting his baseless accusations was to say “Its not true, so it’s none of my business.” and I would continue to give him not attention. But suddenly within only five days my mother got ill and died. She had been an eyewitness to the things he did to me, as well as his former victim. Her death was the best thing that ever happened to him. Already, even before my mother had died, while the was in the hospital, they were beginning to make accusations. The day before she died I began to prepare to move, because I already knew what they were planning. So I packed my essential belongings into my truck, and packed the rest of my belongings so that I could move as soon as possible. But I wasn’t able to move my belongings because the “friend” who was supposed to help me – my brother and his cohorts had already gotten to him, and convinced him not to trust me. A few days after my mother died, even though they all have homes less than a mile away, ALL OF THEM moved right into the house, just so they could torment me. They didn’t know my truck could start, because it hadn’t been started for over two years (I used my mother’s car to do errands). If they knew my car could start, they would have blocked it in so I couldn’t leave. For the first night I slept in my car. And the few times I went inside to get a few belongings, or use the bathroom, I had to walk through a gauntlet of people calling me names, mocking me, and casting accusations. They had me trapped there. And their intention was to make me suffer. My truck was unregistered and uninsured, and they knew it. But like I said, they didn’t know i had it running. So on the second night I waited, and waited, and waited. . . They were literally taking shifts watching the house. And the surveillance system my mother put in to protect herself from him, they were now using to watch me from inside the house. I was praying that they would just leave the house for long enough to get away, because if they saw me leaving, they would call the police and report that I was driving an unregistered vehicle. Then, late at night, around 2AM, my brother left, and for the first time there were no cars with which they could peruse me. As soon as my brother’s car drove around the corner I started the car and GUNNED IT! I drove straight to Vermont, and met with a friend who let me use his truck while I got mine registered. I’ve been living in another state ever since. And I made sure no one there knows where I live. They have defrauded me of my inheritance. Not only that, but they claimed that I stole money, which they stole. And because I wasn’t able to get my possessions out of the house when I had the chance, because they had turned people against me, they considered ALL of my possessions to be part of my mother’s estate. My mother was a bargain hunter and didn’t own nice things. But I, on the other hand, am the type who buys only quality things built to last. Therefor, they had nothing to gain from my mother’s estate, but they had A LOT to gain from defrauding me and steeling my belongings. However, there is a good side to all of this. I’ve taken my possessions as a loss, and I don’t fret about it.

All I wanted is to be free of them and have peace.

And right now I have that. What they don’t seem to realize is that, last week I spoke to an old friend from back there, and several people can SEE what they’ve done, and how I chose to leave peacefully and take my losses. As a result they have utterly ruined their name own name instead of mine. And this is going to come back at them and really hurt them when the time is right for it. They set out to incriminate me, but they’ve revealed to people who they are. They just don’t know it yet, because they still believe everyone is under their spell. I don’t own much anymore. But I have peace where I am. They, on the other hand, have each other. A bunch of backstabbing liars have each other. But here is the problem with their pact. When I was there, I protected the family from my brother, and I took his abuse upon myself to shield them. . . When they all turn on each other, which WILL happen eventually, my sister won’t have me to rely one; and people will not support my brother, because of what he did to me. They have hateful alliances. . . “He who lives by the sword will die by the sword.” “Do not be misled, God is not one to be mocked. Whatever a man is sowing, this he will also reap.” I have peace. . . “Moreover, the fruit of righteousness is sown in peaceful conditions for those who are making peace.” – James 3:18 <iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/AR7bnns9S6E” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe>