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Narcissist Abuse Support
  • Start here
    • What Is Narcissistic Abuse?
    • Who Are These Narcissists?
    • Stages of Narcissistic Abuse
    • Narc Speak
    • What is NPD?
    • How It Feels To A Victim
    • Early Warning Signs of Abuse
    • Traits of Supply
    • Stages of Recovery
    • Types of Abuse
    • Why do people stay?
    • Symptoms of PTSD
  • Red Flags
    • Personality Traits
      • Fantasies of Unlimited Power
      • Believe They Should Associate with Special People
      • Sense of Entitlement
      • Lacks Empathy
      • Arrogant/Patronizing
      • Charming
      • Chronic Lying
    • Idealize
      • Love Bombing
      • Rushing Intimacy
      • Soul Mate Scam
      • Mirroring
      • Friends Love/Hate Them
      • Narcissists Are Actors
      • Narcissist Masks
      • Inappropriate Emotions
      • Use Guilt & Pity Ploys
    • Devalue
      • Have Feeling Something is Off
      • Crazy People in Their Past
      • Reckless Impulsive Behavior
      • No Regard for Rules or Laws
      • Pattern of Instability
      • Control vacations/parties?
      • Triangulation
      • Gaslighting
      • No Accountability
      • Degrade/Humiliate You
      • Behavior Never Changes
      • Poor Financial Management
      • Fragmented Relationships
    • Discard
      • Cheating
      • Never Apologizes
      • Hoovering
      • Smear Campaigns
      • Stalking
      • What are Flying Monkeys?
      • You Feel You Might Be in Danger
      • No Contact
      • The Grand Finale
    • What Are Green Flags
      • Why You?
      • Why You Were Targeted
      • Learn Your Vulnerabilities
      • What Type Of Supply Are You
  • Who Is Your Narcissist
    • Covert Narcissist
    • Narcissistic Relationship
    • Divorcing a Narcissist
    • Co-parenting with a narcissist
    • Narcissistic Parent
    • Narcissistic Brother or Sister
    • Is your child a narcissist?
    • Narcissistic In-Laws
    • Narcissistic Daughter In-Law or Narcissistic Son In-Law
    • Narcissistic Friend
    • Narcissistic Co-Worker
    • How To Help A Friend
  • Coaching
    • Coaching
    • Online Groups
    • Online Workshops
      • Learn To Create a Narc-Proof Parenting Plan
      • Plan Your Exit With A Leaving Plan
      • Stop Attracting Narcissists Workshop
      • Learn To Set Boundaries
      • Learn To Set Up Your Own Support Group
  • Resources
    • Narcissistic Abuse Resources
    • Divorcing Your Narcissist Resources
    • Targeted Healing Journals
    • My Story Of Narcissistic Abuse Journal
    • Get Help – surTHRIVER™ Store
  • Learn More
    • Blog
    • YouTube Channel
    • Free Narcissist Abuse Quotes
    • Podcast
    • Newsletter Signup
    • Who Are We?
    • Contact

Why were you targeted by a narcissist

What Are Your Assets? Green Flags

As you might know by now narcissists target great, smart, and generous people. I want you to think back to when the narcissist was first in your life (if your narcissist is a family member these also apply) they don’t date, marry or even have friends that don’t fill up their ‘supply pool’ in some way. Narcissists don’t target lazy people because that would never work, they are looking for someone to do everything for them. Your qualities are what they are attracted to because they know someone with these qualities will do the right thing, you will go the extra mile to make everyone happy.

There is also a sick little piece of their mind that enjoys taking someone who is in the prime of their life and reducing them to a pile of PTSD trauma, in their minds they win. It’s fun for them to control a person that is successful, beautiful and strong because they feel more powerful to destroy you. I call these ‘green flags’, I have a series of your vulnerabilities that you need to understand the other list is what supply were you? review these lists so you can have a better understanding of why you were chosen.

I am not in any way saying you should stop being you, I just want you to understand ‘WHY YOU WERE TARGETED‘. So many survivors believe they are narcissist magnets and that they are destined to forever ‘PICK‘ this type of person. Get that idea out of your head, you were not in the driver’s seat when you think you picked them, they picked you because of these green flags. Narcissists like it when they hear it in your story that you have any of these qualities, consider them as ‘green flags’ they throw on the field when they meet you. Get enough green flags and they quickly determine you will make a good supply, congratulations!

IF YOU CAN”T CHANGE YOUR GOOD ASSETS WHAT DO YOU DO?

Start by looking at this list and see if your woundedness reflects what they are looking for, then check my green flag assets list and the what type of supply you were list. Once you review all these things you can protect yourself better from being exploited next time. If you are ready to understand how to change the story to stop allowing an abusive person into your life, check out my workshop called ‘Change the Story’.

Your Green Flag Asset List – these may be you

abundant mindset
affectionate
altruistic
ambitious
appreciative
athletic
admits mistakes
brave
balanced
creative
candid
caring
carefree
cheerful
compassionate
confident
cooperative
creative
dependable
determined
devoted
disciplined
easy going
enthusiastic
ethical
fair
fun
fateful
fearless
focused
forgiving
financially secure
friendly

generous
gentle
good friend
giver
good communicator
grateful
gives compliments
hard-working
helpful
honest
hopeful
humility
humorous
inspirational
independent
innocent
integrity
kind
loving
loves life
love for family and friends
loyal
maternal
mature
modest
never speaks badly of others
obedient
open-minded
optimistic
organized
principled
passionate
patient

positive mindset
peaceful
perceptive
perseverance
pleasant
pretty/handsome
protective
quick thinker
rational
realistic
respectful
self-reliant
self-respect
self-love
selfless
serious
sincere
smart
social
sensitive
spirited
strong
supportive
sweet
straight forward
thoughtful
tolerant
tough
trustworthy
understanding
willing to learn

Understand your woundness vulnerability Learn why you were targeted
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Homework – download this worksheet review it to understand what your assets are and why you were targeted by a narcissist.

Download free assets worksheet

Narcissist Abuse Support

Boulder,
CO 
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