What do you do when you work with a narcissist?

In any workplace, power should ideally be earned through skill, experience, and leadership. But what happens when that power is claimed through charm, manipulation, and a relentless hunger for control? When a narcissist rises through the ranks—often by stepping on others rather than lifting them up—the consequences can be devastating not only for individuals, but for the entire organization.

The Havoc Narcissists Wreak in the Workplace

A narcissist in a position of power—whether a manager, executive, or team lead—can turn a healthy work environment into a psychological war zone. Here’s how:

Toxic Culture Creation

Narcissists thrive in chaos and often foster a culture of fear, competition, and division. They pit employees against one another, exploit vulnerabilities, and hoard information to retain control. Collaboration suffers. Morale plummets.

Abuse of Power

They manipulate up and bully down. While they may present a polished and persuasive image to executives or clients, behind closed doors they gaslight, sabotage, and emotionally abuse their teams. Promotions are given not to the most competent but to the most compliant.

Credit Theft and Blame Shifting

Narcissistic leaders are notorious for taking credit for others’ work while dodging responsibility when things go wrong. This erodes trust and leads to high turnover among talented employees who feel invisible or expendable.

Undermining Psychological Safety

Narcissists don’t lead—they dominate. Their inability to accept feedback or admit fault creates an unsafe environment where employees don’t dare to speak up, challenge ideas, or ask for help.

High Risk of Burnout and Attrition

The emotional toll of working under a narcissistic leader can lead to burnout, anxiety, depression, and in some cases, PTSD. Companies may find themselves in a revolving door of employee resignations or long-term disability claims.

Why HR Must Take a Stand

Human Resources plays a critical role in identifying, managing, and protecting staff from narcissistic abuse—whether the narcissist is a peer or an executive.

If the Narcissist is a Colleague or Manager:

• Document Everything: Encourage employees to log inappropriate behavior, comments, and retaliation.
• Offer Safe Reporting Channels: Anonymous reporting systems and trauma-informed HR personnel help employees come forward without fear.
• Provide Training: Educate staff and leadership on toxic personality traits and covert bullying tactics that might otherwise go unnoticed.

If the Narcissist is a Senior Executive:

This is more delicate—and more dangerous. Senior-level narcissists often hold significant influence over culture, policies, and promotions. HR departments may feel pressure to ignore complaints or minimize issues.

• Independent Investigations: Use third-party HR consultants or legal professionals to conduct investigations that remove internal bias.
• Board Involvement: If the narcissist is in the C-suite, HR must be willing to involve the board of directors to protect the company from long-term risk.
• Reputation & Legal Risks: Remind leadership that protecting a toxic executive could lead to lawsuits, public scandals, or costly attrition of high performers.

Narcissists Get Hired Because They Know How to Impress

It’s important to note: narcissists often rise to power not because of their skill, but because of their image. They know how to talk the talk, appear confident under pressure, and woo decision-makers during interviews. Their charm masks their dysfunction—at least until it’s too late.

Having a narcissist in power at work is more than just a personnel issue—it’s a systemic threat. Their need for admiration, lack of empathy, and disregard for others’ well-being creates ripple effects that harm people, projects, and profits.

Workplaces must take narcissistic abuse seriously. HR professionals need tools, training, and organizational support to not only protect employees but to ensure that power isn’t being wielded like a weapon behind a charming smile.

Because no job is worth your sanity. And no company can thrive with toxicity at the top.

Surviving a Narcissist at Work: A Guide for Employees in the Line of Fire

You didn’t sign up for this.

You took your job to grow, contribute, and be part of a team. But instead, you find yourself walking on eggshells, second-guessing your memory, feeling invisible one moment and targeted the next. If you’re dealing with a narcissist at work, you’re not imagining the chaos. You’re surviving it.

Whether this person is your boss, peer, or even someone above your manager, navigating a narcissistic workplace dynamic is exhausting—and often traumatic.

Spotting the Narcissist in the Office

Narcissists in the workplace can look like high-achievers. They’re charming in meetings, quick with jokes, and often praised for their confidence. But behind that shiny exterior, here’s what you might notice:

• They take credit for your work.
• They shift blame to others when things go wrong.
• They gaslight you—making you question your memory or judgment.
• They play favorites or pit coworkers against each other.
• They lash out when criticized, even gently.
• They demand loyalty but offer none in return.

These patterns aren’t just annoying—they’re psychologically damaging.

You Are Not the Problem

Narcissists are master manipulators. Over time, they chip away at your confidence, making you feel incompetent or overly sensitive. You might find yourself staying late to “prove yourself,” obsessing over every email, or losing sleep after a simple meeting.

Let this sink in: If your nervous system is in overdrive at work, it’s not because you’re weak. It’s because you’re in an unsafe environment.

 

How to Protect Yourself When You Can’t Just Quit

We get it—leaving isn’t always an option. You have bills to pay, a career to build. But there are steps you can take to protect your well-being and your future.

Start Documenting Everything

Keep a private log of incidents. Record dates, times, behaviors, emails, and witnesses. This isn’t just for legal protection—it’s also to remind yourself that what’s happening is real.

Limit Personal Disclosure

Narcissists use vulnerability against you. Share only what’s necessary. The less they know, the less ammunition they have.

Set Boundaries—Even Small Ones

If confrontation isn’t safe, practice quiet resistance. You can avoid one-on-one meetings, respond to vague requests in writing, or delay answering impulsive demands.

Talk to HR—If It’s Safe

HR may be helpful, especially if others are also raising concerns. Just be mindful that if the narcissist is high up, HR might be limited. In those cases, involve a trusted mentor, coach, or even legal counsel to guide your next steps.

Care for Your Nervous System

Chronic stress at work affects your health. Ground yourself with breathing exercises, short walks, and digital detox moments. A regulated nervous system is your secret weapon against workplace toxicity.

Your Worth Is Not Defined by a Narcissist’s Opinion

The biggest danger of working with a narcissist isn’t just professional—it’s personal. They erode your sense of self. You may start to question your competence, your value, even your right to feel mistreated.

But here’s the truth: You are enough. You are not too much. And you deserve to work in a place that sees you, respects you, and supports you.

If you can’t leave yet, then hold on to what’s true. Build an exit plan if you need to. Lean on allies, therapists, or support groups. Reconnect with your purpose and your strengths.

You will get through this. And when you do, you’ll take your power back with you.

What If HR Isn’t Safe—or Doesn’t Exist? Here Are Your Options

When you’re dealing with a narcissist in the workplace and HR isn’t an option—either because they’re too aligned with leadership, dismissive, or the company is simply too small—you’re not powerless. Here are strategic steps you can take:

Create a Personal Paper Trail

• Keep detailed notes of every toxic interaction: time, date, what was said/done, and who was present.
• Save emails, messages, and voicemails that reflect inappropriate behavior or shifting expectations.
• Store these records in a personal device or off-site account—not on your company computer.

Protect Your Reputation Proactively

• Build alliances with neutral coworkers and other departments who can vouch for your work ethic and professionalism.
• Keep your performance documented—track your wins, goals met, and praise received.

Seek Outside Support

• Talk to a therapist, coach, or legal advocate to help you manage emotional impact and decide if legal protections (like a hostile work environment claim) apply.
• Some states have whistleblower or workplace bullying protections—even without HR backing.

Practice Strategic Detachment

• Avoid emotional engagement with the narcissist. Respond to manipulation with calm, brief, professional replies.
• Use the “gray rock” technique—be boring, unreactive, and neutral. Narcissists feed on reactions.

Explore Internal Transfers or Job Search Quietly

• In larger organizations, consider moving laterally to a different department.
• In smaller companies, it may be time to quietly prepare for a career move—while protecting your mental health in the meantime.

Know When It’s Time to Exit

If the narcissist’s behavior is damaging your mental health, costing you sleep, or making you dread each day, it may not be a matter of “if” you leave, but when and how. Having a plan can restore a sense of control—even if it takes time to act on it.

You don’t have to suffer in silence. When HR fails or isn’t an option, your voice still matters, and there are ways to protect your sanity, your dignity, and your career.